I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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