This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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