just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize