I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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