in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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