In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
