first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he fucked my hip out of place.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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