when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
