is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
