never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
