it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
