i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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