Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
