Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize