We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize