So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
