don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
