Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize