I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
