yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
