Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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