dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
