I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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