I think im going to throw up on grandma
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
