i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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