Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
