Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
