I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
