We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize