haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
