3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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