Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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