Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
