I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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