im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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