i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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