why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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