somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
