Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
