You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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