I heard we made out
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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