i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize