i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
