Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
