If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
