So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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