ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
