Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
