i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
