I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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