dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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