Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
