dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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