You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
