Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
