the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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