i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
