And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
