or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
