lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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