my sisters under your porch take her home
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
