i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
