and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
