Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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