Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
