This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
