Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
