I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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