she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
